3 Real Cold Emails Rewritten Live

We dissect & improve real cold emails with tips that work.

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How to address specific pain points in emails?

Directly addressing a recipient's pain point increases the likelihood of engagement; it shows you understand their challenges and can offer solutions.

"Let's actually fix this. Okay, I'm gathering insights to and then address a pain point that I have.

That would have been much better.

So he saw you running go high level. I was curious about your thoughts on, can...

I don't care about marketing analytics. But if they said, um, I'm gathering insights to solve how WordPress integrates with go high level attribution."

Takeaway:
  • Identify and address specific pain points relevant to your recipient.
  • Tailor your message to show how you can solve their actual problems.
  • Generic offers are less effective than targeted solutions.

How can accurate data improve your cold emails?

Using accurate data when reaching out is crucial; incorrect assumptions about your recipient can undermine your credibility.

"Hey there, Jack. So sales bread is running GHL. I was curious about your thoughts on marketing analytics.

Do you know, Jeremy, that it took me a, like, it like opened a loop in my head and I couldn't put it down until I realized what GHL was because I don't know.

Pretend that I didn't say this, but I'm not using that. So the data source sucks."

Takeaway:
  • Verify your data before sending to ensure relevance.
  • Incorrect assumptions can damage your credibility.
  • Show that you understand your recipient's actual situation.

Why free offers in cold emails may not work?

Free trials can sometimes be met with skepticism, especially if not backed by credibility or clear value.

"Now, Jack, you and I are business people, we know that, you know, when something is free, it's never free anyway. Like to me, it means, you know, having a conversation with those people, telling them what do I want and, you know, all those sort of things.

So I would have loved to see it being backed up by who they worked with."

Takeaway:
  • Free offers should be accompanied by proof of credibility.
  • Provide references or testimonials to build trust.
  • Understand that 'free' may raise skepticism; address it proactively.

How to tailor your offer to your recipient's needs?

Generic offers can be easily ignored; tailor your proposal to address the specific needs and context of your recipient.

"Why isn't that tailored to QuickMail? What on earth is going on here?

Like, shouldn't they know, like, you don't have a mobile app. Why would they put it?

How much, how hard is that just to check, does this company have a mobile app in the Google Play or Apple Store? If not, do not mention it, it's, it's...

You could check the website, you know, you don't need to go super far because if it's a, if it's an app, usually you'll have it on the website."

Takeaway:
  • Research your recipient to ensure your offer is relevant.
  • Exclude services that don't apply to them to show attention to detail.
  • Personalization increases the chance of a positive response.

Should you use exclamation marks in cold emails?

Punctuation choices can impact how your email is perceived; exclamation marks may come across as unprofessional or overly eager in cold outreach.

"I think you'd be safe as a general rule to never put an exclamation mark in a single cold email for the rest of your life, and you're probably better served for it.

All of the case. I mean, that screams like, please, you know, signal or reply something."

Takeaway:
  • Avoid using exclamation marks in cold emails to maintain professionalism.
  • Exclamation marks can make your email seem like spam or overly salesy.
  • Keep your tone neutral and respectful to improve engagement.

Why avoid sending emails via third-party domains?

Using third-party domains in your email 'from' address can signal automation and reduce trust, harming your email's effectiveness.

"You included the from email and it's clear it came from Salesforce. Let's talk about that.

Yeah, so it was kind of like dodgy because obviously now, I mean it's for quite some time already, you see in Gmail, you know, you see the name of that person, but when they actually send it from a separate tool that is not necessarily linked to their email, you're gonna have a via type of thing and so you got like the name of the person, the email of that person that makes sense, and then you got via, and then you got like the long ass, you know, email address with salesforce.com at the end."

Takeaway:
  • Avoid sending emails that show 'via' third-party domains; it signals automation.
  • Use your own domain to increase trust and deliverability.
  • Ensure your email appears as a personal message, not automated spam.

How to use a 'no-oriented' question in your CTA?

Using a 'no-oriented' question can reduce pressure on the recipient and increase response rates in cold emails.

"He did the inverse, um, the thing where we can actually just, you know, fish for no. So we should be able to say no, it's not a bad idea, right?

So feeling secure, but I'm going on the CTA maybe I'm going one step too, too fast.

You're too fast, you're too fast."

Takeaway:
  • Use 'no-oriented' questions to make it easier for prospects to respond.
  • Such questions can lower the recipient's defenses.
  • Examples include "Would it be a bad idea to...?" in your call to action.

Why include concrete case studies in your emails?

Providing specific examples or case studies in your cold emails can increase credibility and help the recipient see the potential value you offer.

"It's missing something, um, and it's missing the concrete case study.

Which podcaster? Let me see him.

Let me check them out.

Let me, a, believe it and B, double-check that they are similar to where I am starting from so that I can see myself in the shoes of your case study client."

Takeaway:
  • Include specific case studies to build credibility.
  • Provide references that the recipient can relate to.
  • Help recipients visualize how your solution applies to them.

Should you personalize your cold emails?

Personalization can significantly increase the effectiveness of cold emails, but it's important that it feels genuine to the recipient.

"Hi, Jack, I enjoyed your insights on lead generation strategies in your recent podcast episode. Shout out Jeremy, especially how you discussed leveraging personalization to improve outreach effectiveness.

Let's pause for a second. Um, do you believe that?

No, but it's still, it's still OK.

Yeah, yeah, give us a number, like it's probably not 0, like there's a, it's probably like 7, something like that, I think.

To me, gives permission to read the next line."

Takeaway:
  • Ensure your personalization is believable and feels authentic to the recipient.
  • A personalized opening can encourage the reader to continue reading your email.
  • Avoid generic compliments; make them specific and relevant to the recipient.

How important is the subject line in cold emails?

The subject line is the first thing your recipient sees and can determine whether they open your email or not. An effective subject line can significantly improve your open rates and the overall success of your campaign.

"Subject is 1 million views, Jack, OK. I like it. I like it.

I like it too. OK.

And it follows my rule of all lower case, which I've always liked."

Takeaway:
  • Craft engaging and personalized subject lines to catch your recipient's attention.
  • Consider using all lowercase in your subject lines for a more personal touch.
  • Keep subject lines concise and compelling to improve open rates.

Episode Info:

Title:
#395 - Cold Email Surgery: 3 Real Examples Dissected & Rewritten (Live)
Episode Link:
Keywords:
cold email, personalization, subject lines
Episode Air Date:
April 30, 2025

Podcast info:

Show Name:
Cold Email Outreach
Author:
Jeremy Chatelaine and Jack Reamer
Owner:
Jeremy Chatelaine
Category:
Business - Marketing

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